After a while, crocodile

I have been busy knitting. A lot of knitting. I made a hat to match my cowl and one pair of socks. As a new knitter, making socks is daunting. You struggle to figure out the instructions and covert them into an actual article of clothing. When you are done, even if the experience was unpleasant, you have to repeat it. Unless you have one foot in which case when you finish one sock, you're done! I need to remember to take pictures of my work. Pictures would be very helpful. I'm now working on this scarf in a beautiful jewel turquoise color.

I think a lot of my friends are getting knit items this Christmas.

Later gator

I am going out of town tomorrow for a job related conference at Callaway Gardens. I really wish Dear could come with me but he just started back to work and doesn't have any vacation time he can use yet. It would make for a romantic snuggle with all of the lights they have on display for Christmas. I will take some pictures, promise.

Could it be I stayed away too long?

I feel that I have neglected a friend here and I am ashamed. I got caught up in Thanksgiving. That sounds like a lame excuse, doesn't it? We ended up having a turkey breast, ham, dressing, candied sweet potatoes, collard greens, cabbage and macaroni and cheese. For dessert, we had sweet potato pie and the yummy bars. I said I would describe the bars. It has a yellow cake layer that is more cookie-like than cakey, pecans and then a layer that is cheesecakeish. My only dim spot was I mistakenly got the whole berry canned cranberry sauce instead of the one that is purely gelatinous. It doesn't have the same tangy bite as the plain kind, but whatever - I still glopped it atop my turkey and dressing.

Even though we had 4 days off, we didn't get any rest until Sunday. We woke up early Thursday to cook. We didn't wake up early for the Friday sales, but did stay out late for a friends birthday party. We did wake up early Saturday for an Ikea sale. I love Ikea. Off topic but when watching a show on HGTV, we can point out everything in the home that was purchased in that blue and yellow box. Back on track. We were so tired by Saturday night that we went to bed at 9:30 and woke up 12 hours later. 12 hours of sleep. I never sleep that long, my husband never sleeps that long but we needed the rest.

Sunday we started painting our library. Our library (giggle). It sounds so pretentious, but that's what it is. On our house floor plan it's listed as a 5th bedroom or a library. It has an attached bathroom and closet but it's the room immediately off the foyer to the right. It is a terrible location for a bedroom so we have turned it into a library with bookshelves (from Ikea) and everything. We are painting it a color in the orange family, at the choice of my husband. I will have to post a picture because the color can't be explained. It leans towards a orangey, cinnamony, brownish color. We like it. I need to remember to take pictures with my camera phone so I can post these pictures from work.

Bake, stir, roast, simmer

Tomorrow is a big cooking day for me. I'll keep you posted on my progress. I think we have everything we will need. We are eschewing a whole turkey for a turkey breast. Those things are huge! About the same size as a chicken. Anyway, I have to get some rest because dinner is tomorrow at 3 and I hope to be ready.

I have arrived

A sure sign that I am an adult with adult responsibilities: I used to look at the ads for black Friday for gadget and clothing sales. Now I'm looking for the best prices on furniture.

We gather together

Thanksgiving is finally upon us! Or will be soon. As stated previously, I like this holiday. Food, family and football. Our gathering will be small as it usually is. I have 3 half-siblings, but was raised an only child so it will be me, Momma, Dear and my moms boyfriend Joe. I also invited our Realtor (yes with a capital "R" because this is different than a realtor). Does it seem strange to invite your Realtor to TGiving dinner? It's not to us. We had a lot of fun riding around with her the earlier part of this year while looking for our home and I knew she would be alone so why not. I will be doing the bulk of the cooking with Dear contributing the sweet potato pies. My mom want to bring something, but I don't know what. So let's talk menu:



turkey (obligatory)

dressing (or not. If there is not dressing, it won't be missed)

candied yams

collard greens

macaroni & cheese

broccoli rice casserole

green beans

cranberry sauce (I know this is more of a condiment, but I love it so. I eat it like a side dish. It also must be the canned type, not the fancy Ocean Spray one that is more like cranberry preserves. I try to dress it up by slicing on the lines made by the can and kind of fanning the slices out, maybe add some parsley)

sweet potato pies

yummy bars (I will have to describe them later. I could post the recipe, but it was given to me in confidence as a wedding present and I promised to keep it secret)



All of this for 4-5 people? Hell yes. I have to start cleaning out my fridge today so there will be space for the leftovers. I love to cook and this will be our first Thanksgiving in our home. I get to use all of my wedding china and have an excuse to open the leaf in our dining room table. I can light the apple scented candles and put on the Christmas muzak which will start playing from then until New Years. We may even go downtown and watch the lighting of a Christmas tree (there are many to choose from). I love Thanksgiving!

Je suis finis

All done with my cowl. I finished it maybe a week ago and have finally found the right button to go with it. There are no button holes, just a smaller toggle-shaped button on the back of the bigger one, connected with elastic. That way the button can be moved around the cowl for different ways of draping and wearing. I am very happy with how it turned out. I am now working on a full scarf for my mother and once I get the correct length circular needle, I will make a hat. I am old.

A Haiku

My eyes are closing
Sleep will soon take me away
No box wine needed

Perfect night

If I started my posts earlier, I would have more to say. As it is, I am enjoying this fall evening with my husband and some box wine. I am not ashamed of either. G'night.

Hot beef sandwich

I am trying out a new recipe for the crock pot.

4 lbs beef chuck roast
1 - 0.7 oz packet of dry italian dressing mix
1 tbsp italian seasoning
1 tsp garlic powder
1 c water

Add ingredents to crock and cook on low for 8 hours. When done, break up meat; it should fall apaart. Serve on hoagie rolls. Melted cheese is optional.

Good thing he's cute

Heard at the dinner table:

Husband: These jubilee potatoes are really good!
Me: (silence, and staring - trying hard to keep a straight face)
Husband: (after looking in the trash for the box) I mean julienne.

Nooooooooo!!!

I messed up with my NaBloPoMo!! I had a draft that I started on the 14th, but finished on Sunday the 15th. When I posted on Sunday, the post showed up like it was a Saturday post. *sigh* I know I posted everyday, but my only proof is 2 blog entries on Saturday and I know that won't count. But I won't give up. I put my big girl panties on and I will suck it up and continue posting until the end of the month. At least this post will be for the right day.

Don't ask me

I have a clerical type job that involves talking with the public. Sometimes I get asked really dumb questions. I'm not talking about questions that people ask because they are looking for information or clarification; in this case there are no dumb questions. I'm talking about questions that fly in the face of good old common sense. Questions that leave me speechless because I think, "What you just asked me can't be what you meant to say". Here is a recent example:

Caller: Good morning. May I speak to Ms. Hill?
Me: Ms. Hill is not here today.
Caller: So what time do you expect her in?
Me: (pausing - see because I figure he didn't mean to ask what time will someone be in that I already said is out for the day. I'm trying to think of an answer to his question without being rude or sarcastic.) Umm, she's not here today.
Caller: Oh, so she won't be in at all! (hangs up)

What could I have said differently? Where was the breakdown in communication? Here is another gem:

(The setting - I am in the lobby by the elevators on the 1st floor)
Guy: We have to go to room 4xxx on the 4th floor.
Me: OK
Guy: Is that 4 floors up or down?
Me: (speechless again! How am I to answer this??!!) It's on the 4th floor.

Again, what was I to have said? He already knew what floor his destination was on so it's not like he was asking which floor 4xxx was on. That I could answer. Let's even say that he didn't know he was on the first floor, his best bet would still be to get on the elevator and press "4".

Speaking of elevators, I just remembered another:

(The setting - I am on the elevator and the elevator stops at a floor)
Man: (putting his head in the elevator and looking around) Does these elevators go to the basement floor?
Me: (actually I didn't say anything at all. I figured that if he go on and saw the button marked "B" that would clue him in)

Actually, I can cut the guy some slack for asking this. I know that in high rise buildings with scores of stories there are express elevators that only go to certain floors. In that situation, his question would be valid. My office building has 9 floors. Only 9. Did he really think we have express elevators that don't go all the way up and down? Maybe his elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

My fear of cold

I don't like cold things. I don't like to touch cold things like a carton of ice cream. I don't like ice in my drinks. Iced tea is the exception. I am southern after all. If I visualize an ice cube, I will get chill bumps. See like I have now. I don't know where this dislike comes from. I do have a tooth sensitivity to cold, but that doesn't explain my tactile aversion to cold. When I used to live in apartments, the first thing I would do is take out the ice trays. I knew I would never use them and I liked having the extra space in the freezer anyway. Drinks get cold enough in the fridge part for me. I won't get in the ocean unless the water is at least 75 degrees. I am the first person to get chilly in a draft. My husband and I don't turn on the A/C until around June mostly because we are cheap buy also because I don't get that hot. I try to rationalize my dislike as just a mental thing, but touching a cold surface hurts. My fingers burn from the cold - an oxymoron I know. So going into another winter is never my favorite time of year. I will bundle up with a hat, scarf, and gloves if the temperature goes below 50. I even have a heated blanket for my car. I envy those with heated seats.

Phunny Phobias

Today is Friday the 13th, a day that some dread. Me, it's always meh. So what. If I am a person of faith, then I can't give in to superstitions. But some peoples fears aren't based on superstitions, they have real phobias. Their fears are real to them, even if it sounds silly to me. Here are some that sound just too awesome to be true:

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth

Aulophobia - Fear of flutes

Botanophobia- Fear of plants (this one reminds me of a SNL episode with my fav, Christopher Walken)

Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness

Frigophobia- Fear of cold or cold things (I may have a mild case. Can't stand ice - more on this later)

Geniophobia- Fear of chins

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words (irony at its best)

Lutraphobia- Fear of otters

Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes

Ophthalmophobia- Fear of being stared at (wouldn't have to worry about this from the Optophobe)

Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law

Politicophobia- Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians

Proctophobia- Fear of rectums

Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat (the lesser mole rat, not so scary)

Sorry for the fluff

I'm too tired for a proper post right now, so consider this a placeholder. I will add to it tomorrow. Working night court wears me out.

11/11

Happy Birthday to me! I am 30! And surprisingly happy about it.

Repeat

Ever get stuck on a song? This particular song doesn't keep playing in my head ad nauseam; it's more that I can't get enough of it. It is "I Who Have Nothing" by Luther Vandros and Martha Wash. The original was done by Shirley Bassey. Do some Googling if you aren't familiar as the two versions are very different in style. I had heard the song a few times, but I fell in love with it when I really listened. The lyrics are so beautiful - unrequited love. What woman can't relate?

First verse:

I who have nothing,
I who have no one,
adore you and want you so.
I'm just a no one
with nothing to give you,
but oh! I love you.

k1 p1

I am learining how to knit or rather how to make things by knitting. I already knew the two basic knitting stitches, I just never made anything using them. My goal was to start a knitting project before I turn 30 and I have reached my goal with one day to spare. I will be making a cowl. One with a button that is more like a short scarf and less like a loose tube that fits around your neck. I figure with my hair being gone soon, the back of my neck will thank me when the weather gets cold. I'm going off point here, but that's one great thing about the south - it's almost mid November and we were in the high 60's today. Ok back on track. It's been slow going with the knitting. There has been a lot of starting over, but as you can see by the picture below, I'm making progress. I moan and complain about how 30 is the pathway to being old, but look at me; I'm knitting. A self-fulfilling prophecy.

KFC = Kill with Fried Chicken

KFC is trying to kill us. I am convinced. I heard about this new sandwich, the Double Down Sandwich that is being test marketed in Rhode Island and Nebraska. If you haven't heard, let me describe it for you. It is two breaded chicken breasts, bacon, two kinds of cheese and sauce. Notice anything missing? THE BREAD!! The chicken breasts are substituted for bread. Behold:

This is not appetizing. This is scary. It made me mad. Seriously! I called my co-worker just to rant about it. Aren't people dying from obesity related illnesses? Diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol - this is what I see when I look at this thing. I can no longer call it a sandwich because it is sans bread. This is a parody of a sandwich. People are free to make their own food choices, good or bad, but why offer such an obviously bad choice?

Remember the KFC meal bowls? Mashed potatoes, topped by corn, topped by fried chicken, topped by gravy, topped by melted cheese. Again, WTF KFC? If you eat this, please save your body the work and just stuff this meal directly into your arteries.

Blink of an eye

Day 7 of NaBloPoMo. What to say, what to say? When in doubt, talk about your day.

The husband and I went to our employee appreciation picnic at a not so local state park. It would be local if we lived in the same county we work in, but we are about 35 miles away. On the way back, we saw a horrible accident and when I say we saw it, I mean when we crested the hill of the interstate we could see the last of the involved cars spinning out. One of them overturned. Dear and I pulled over to see if we could help. The overturned car was a family of 3 with 2 cats. Both cats were in their own carrier, but when their car flipped, a carrier flew open and as soon as the car came to a rest, one of the cats sprinted out of the back and up the highway embankment. None of the people in this car or the other cars were seriously hurt but the young girl was heartbroken that her cat ran away. We were looking in the grass and trees to see if we could spot her. I wanted so bad to find the cat for her. I know what it's like to have a pet run away and my heart still aches for her loss.

It's always a weired felling when you have to stop on the side of a highway and get out. You feel out of place and exposed. Looking at the damaged cars around us was surreal. If we had been driving a few mph faster, we could have been involved. Thank you Jesus for protecting us and keeping us safe. Let us not forget who orders our steps.

Motocar Man

This is why I always have my camera with me.

I don't know what I like best: the flames, real working headlights, or that he kept his muffler in place even though it is now now-functioning. He gave us a smile and a wave. I'm sure he's used to the gawkers and picture takers by now.

Taps

No witty posts tonight. There was a shooting at Ft. Hood, Texas this afternoon. 12 people, were killed and 31 more are wounded. My brothers, both Army National Guard Reservists, have been stationed there before. Another day, another time and it could have been them. The shooter was facing deployment and was a mental health physician. He was a doctor of the mind, yet was still vulnerable to his own mental frailties. It's tough for these soldiers to go where no one would ever want to be. Everyone has their breaking point. No one involved deserved their fate. I pray for the families of all involved.

Mary Had a Little Ham

I sometimes pick on my husband because his knowledge of fairy tales is limited at best. Hansel and Gretel? Doesn't ring a bell. The Shoemaker and the Elves? Nope. Rip Van Winkle. Rip Van Who? So as you could guess, his recollection of nursery rhymes is worse. He says that while I was learning nursery rhymes, he was outside on his BMX bike catching some sweet air. For my amusement, and yours, here are Dear's best guesses as to the omited words in the following nursery rhymes:


There was an old lady who lived in a box. She had so many toes, she didn't know what to do. She gave them some polish without any bread; she whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed.


Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle. The cow jumped over the moon. The little squirrel grabbed his nuts to see such sport and the cat ran away with the spoon.


Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir ten bags full. One for my wife, one for my son, and one for the little boy who lives in the corner.


Little Miss Piggie, sat on her chair eating her salsa and whey. Along came a deer and sat down beside her and tickled her all the day.


Little Boy Blue come blow your horn. The sheep's in the barn, the cow's in the storm. Where is the boy who looks after the sheep? He's under the rock, fast asleep.


Jack Sprat could eat no yak, his wife could eat no glue. So between the both of them they licked the pole new.


Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating his Christmas porridge. He stuck in his spoon and pulled out a plum and said "Oh my my!"

Take it off, take it all off

Today I went to see my hair stylist. I am going to cut my hair short on my birthday. It may not sound like a big deal. People cut their hair everyday and no one has to announce it first but it's different for me. I have always been "that girl with the long hair" (and to a lesser degree, "that girl with the big eyes" but never mind that). My hair is almost waist length. I get complimented on it daily. People are amazed that it's real. It gets on my last nerves. I don't deal with compliments well because I don't like the attention. Attention and compliments from strangers makes me uncomfortable. People tell me "don't ever cut it". I want to tell them that unless they have contributed to my hair's upkeep, they have no say. Having long hair is like having a new baby; everyone likes to look at it, but no one is around when it needs attention. It is a lot of work and I've been doing it by myself for the last 15+ years. My arms are tired. And also, the longer your hair is, the less you can do with it. It just lays there. I don't expect it to do tricks but I would like to be able to have a style other than long.

But not this.

So, on the day I turn 30, it is all coming off. My neck and ears will be exposed. Luckily I have small ears. Not like an otter small, but dainty. I will donate my chopped off pony tail to Locks of Love. Maybe they would like to make a pig/fawn/calf wig.

The turkey never stood a chance

Halloween was Saturday, October 31st. The next major holiday, ok after Veteran's Day, is Thanksgiving, right? Wrong. The next holiday is Christmas. No tom turkeys, no pilgrims, no cornucopias, none of that nonsense. From now on it will be Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!!! Rawrrr!!!

We were at a crafts store on Sunday, the day after Halloween and there were 2 themes going: 1) Halloween is 70% off and 2) Christmas Is Here!! There were Christmas tree displays with full on lights and ornaments. There were rows of wreaths, bells, garland, those animated yard decorations, reindeer, snowmen, you get the idea. The store was playing Christmas music. I couldn't believe it. I know retailers start early, and in hindsight I see how because of the weak economy, stores would want the Christmas buying season to be as long as possible. But come on! I can only guess this store had people in Halloween night to set up all of the displays and Christmas items to be ready for the next day. Thanksgiving used to be a buffer or maybe a sort of segue to lead us into the Christmas season. It was like a practice run for the family gatherings, dinners, and warm fuzzy feelings. Now Christmas has pushed Thanksgiving aside, knocking it to the ground in an attempt to get that last flat screen from Wal-Mart.

Too slow, homo.

Now let me back up. I love Christmas and all the tidings of comfort and joy it brings but I do try to focus more on the religious aspect of the season instead of all the red, white, and green hoopla. I think that's my problem with Christmas being pushed so early. The Christmas season should be a holy time but it's like there are 2 Christmases: the baby Jesus one and the 50% off-layaway-buy buy buy-jingle bells-use your shopping pass-ho ho ho-Santa one. Guess which one you will be reminded of daily for the next 52 days? Quick! Name the 3 wise men! Now just as fast, name 3 of Santa's reindeer. Which one was easier? I must admit, Donner, Blitzen and Comet rolled off my tongue but I got stuck after Balthazar.

I'm not good at small talk

I am an official NaBloPoMo participant. Yaaa! Or maybe not yaaa. Ask me in a week. I figured this was a good way to kick start my blog and provide me with motivation to write daily. Ok I'm bored already, but I will not do a fluff post just to be able to say I posted daily. I don't have the southern gift of making polite small talk, so I will really have to put some effort into this. Which is a good thing.

This is my birthday month, the month of my 30th birthday. My big milestone. I have heard that 30 is the new 20 and 40 is the new 30 and so on. I think this is what people say who don't want others to notice that they way they are carrying on is really age inappropriate. Pamela Anderson is a good example:

This is no good for the old 40 or the new 30!

Now that I'm married, I get asked "When are you having a baby? What are you waiting on?" I guess I'm waiting on my conscious and subconscious to agree that they both want to be a parent, not just have a baby. Oh yes, I want to have a baby. I would like to know what it's like to be pregnant, feel my baby growing inside me and watch my body change. I want to experience birth and nursing and see who our child would favor. All of this is related to having a baby, not so much with being a parent. I know having a baby makes you an automatic parent, but I see a separation of the two. Being a parent is all of the baby stuff but more than that. The pregnancy/baby stuff is just the beginning and such a small part.

When I imagine myself as a parent, I think about the sacrifice of my time, energy, money, attention, sleep, and logic. I am a procrastinator. Will having a child turn that around, or will my procrastination make things more difficult than they needed to have been? Will I love my child so madly at first sight that all the unpleasant things that come with parenthood "be worth it"? My husband just started back to work after being laid off for 9 months. He is making half of what he used to make and even before he was laid off, we weren't exactly rollin' in it. Will our income be enough to support a child? Am I still too selfish? I hear being a mom is a self-sacrificing job. Thoughts like this are why my answer to the baby question is "No time soon".

But then I think, hey I'm (almost) in my 30's. Shouldn't I feel an urge, a push, a yearning to be a mother? I don't. What's up with this biological clock I hear so much about? Shouldn't I want a child before my fertility starts to decline? I guess. Not every woman is designed to want to be a mother. Maybe I'm one of them and that does kind of makes me sad. Hmmm, it makes me sad that I wouldn't be a mom. Did I just hear a tick?

I do well playing by myself

Starting off a new blog involves a lot of talking (read: typing) - to yourself. It takes a while to get established, attract readers and say enough interesting things to have people follow you regularly. Sooo, keeping in mind that I am the only one here I will entertain myself by uploading pictures that I find interesting. Until someone actually starts reading this thing, it will serve as a kind of archive for me. I am only a novice picture taker at best, but I do carry my camera with me everywhere. You never know when you can catch something good like:

Not that funny overall. Someone arranged the letters to read "WRUNCH CRAP" which doesn't display a lot of creativity on their part, but it's easy humor like a fart joke. Sure it's lame, but sometimes you giggle anyway.

OK, this is a little more my speed in that the humor is deceptive. I know it's not jump out at you funny, but lets think about its elements. 1) These are regular wheel covers on a Malibu, 2) the owner was not happy with the simulated aluminum finish of said wheel cover, 3) they decided to spruce up the look and spray painted them black. Maybe because black is a bad ass color and if there is any car that screams "Watch out, I may start trouble!" it's a Chevy Malibu. But best of all is 4) they monogrammed their hubcap. Is the "M" for Malibu?

This gem we found while driving back from vacation this year. Moments like this are exactly why I carry my camera everywhere. Panty Dropper. That's not a name you can just start off with. Your jacked up muddin' truck can't start on the name equivalent of level 11. Maybe it began as Big Red or Mud Bug or some other lame name that I would call it 'cause I'm a girl (An aside: my husband just suggested Mud Butt). Then, I imagine, the owner started getting some attention from the ladies. Maybe he did pretty well in them mud bogs and began getting a second look from the fairer sex. Maybe he had too many Bud Lights and thought his truck was so masculine that at the mere sight and sound of it, panties lost their elastic hold on the waists of their wearers and dropped to the ground in a display of awesomeness. I would say that my panties didn't even flutter so maybe he's just a douche.

Big Step

Starting a blog is intimidating. Just thinking of the name for your blog is daunting. Cutesy is out. Tongue in cheek? I'm too tired right now to be clever. Other good names are already taken. I kept thinking, how do I identify with myself? I wanted to have a profound and serious sounding blog name, but that's not me. I'm not serious and rarely have profound thoughts. Then I remembered, I still can't believe I'm a grown-up. By that I mean I am facing a milestone birthday and seem to be getting all reflective. I guess I am a grown-up.

I will be 30 in a few months. My husband turned 31 this year. I told him on his 30th last year that when you turn 30, you are all the way grown. No more "You're just in your twenties" write-offs. You are all grown, all the time. Anyone 20 or above is an adult sure enough, but I think there is a difference between being an adult and being a grown-up. In your 20's you're still growing into your adulthood. By 30 you should be there. It's like growing a mustache. 20's is Spencer Pratt, 30 is Chuck Norris. I think my Chuck Norris is coming in nicely.